The smell of blood works its way into my dreams, which are, for the most part, terrible: on an ocean liner that catches fire, witnessing volcanic eruptions in Hawaii , the violent deaths of most of the inside traders traders at Saloman, James Robinson doing something bad to me, finding myself back at boarding school, then at Harvard, the dead walk among the living. The dreams are an endless reel of car wrecks and disaster footage, electric chairs and grisly suicides, syringes and mutilated pinup girls, flying saucers, marble jacuzzis, pink peppercorns.
—American Psycho (Brett Easton Ellis)
“Howard, it’s Bateman, Patrick Bateman. You’re my lawyer so I think you should know: I’ve killed a lot of people… Some girls in the apartment uptown, some homeless people; maybe 5 or 10. Umm, an NYU girl I met in Central Park; I left her in a parking lot behind some donut shop. I killed Bethany, my old girlfriend, with a nail gun, and some man, uhh, some old faggot with a dog last week. I killed another girl with a chainsaw, I had to, she almost got away and someone else there, I can’t remember; maybe a model, but she’s dead too… And Paul Allen… I killed Paul Allen with an axe in the face, his body is dissolving in a bathtub in Hell’s Kitchen. I don’t want to leave anything out here. I guess I’ve killed maybe 20 people, maybe 40. I have tapes of a lot of it, uh some of the girls have seen the tapes. I even ate some of their brains, and I tried to cook a little. Tonight I just had to kill a LOT of people. And I’m not sure I’m gonna get away with it this time. I guess I’ll uh, I mean, ah, I guess I’m a pretty uh, I mean I guess I’m a pretty sick guy. So, if you get back tomorrow, I may show up at Harry’s Bar, so you know, keep your eyes open.”
There are no more barriers to cross. All I have in common with the uncontrollable, the insane, the vicious, and the evil, all the mayhem that I’ve caused and my utter indifference toward it, I have now surpassed. My pain is constant and sharp and I do not hope for a better world for anyone – in fact, I want my pain to be inflicted upon others. I want no one to escape. But even after admitting this, there is no catharsis – my punishment continues to elude me and I gain no deeper knowledge of myself. No new knowledge can be extracted from my telling. This confession has meant… nothing.”
‘Some nights I would find myself roaming the beaches, digging up baby crabs and eating handfuls of sand - this was in the night when the sky was so clear I could see the entire solar system and the sand, lit by it, seemed almost lunar in scale. I even dragged a beached jellyfish back to the house and microwaved it early one morning, predawn, while Evelyn slept, and what I didn’t eat of it I fed to the chow.’
American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis
“…there is an idea of a Patrick Bateman, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real me, only an entity, something illusory, and though I can hide my cold gaze and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable: I simply am not there. It is hard for me to make sense on any given level. Myself is fabricated, an aberration. I am a noncontingent human being. My personality is sketchy and unformed, my heartlessness goes deep and is persistent. My consciousness, my pity, my hopes disappeared a long time ago (probably at Harvard) if they ever did exist. There are no more barriers to cross. All I have in common with the uncontrollable and the insane, the vicious and the evil, all the mayhem I have caused and the my utter indifference towards it, I have now surpassed. I still, though, hold on to one single bleak truth: no one is safe, nothing is redeemed. Yet I am blameless. Each model of human behaviour must be assumed to have some validity. Is evil something you are? Or is it something you do? My pain is constant and sharp and I do not hope for a better world for anyone. In fact I want my pain to be inflicted on others. I want no one to escape. But even after admitting this - and I have, countless times, in just about every act I have committed - and coming face-to-face with these truths, there is no catharsis. I gain no deeper knowledge about myself, no new understanding can be extracted from my telling. There has been no reason for me to tell you any of this. This confession has meant nothing…”
There’s a Kickstarter project going on for an American Psycho musical. Bret Easton Ellis is even involved.
It looks amazing, so fund it and get great goodies too.
(Like a Patrick Bateman business card USB stick, SERIOUSLY.)